questions…
I am a point in my Life where I need to focus my mind more to prepare for what’s coming. The Shinobies…I like my band mates and consider myself very lucky. I had the chance to kick it with some really dope musicians over the past weekend and one particular had this manager/producer and he was like an elder brother and I would see him on the phone making sure everything was going well with them. No one ever looked out for me like that and to see that, I felt like something was missing.
I’ve been questioning myself a lot lately. Some people attribute it to not winning the OCMA’s but it’s happened before that…I feel weird wanting to win…I feel bad that people come out to support me and I don’t win. So my mood has nothing to do with that but other personal struggles in my life I wish not to publicize so openly.
Where am I going? I released my album and wish to get rid of it because I want to focus on the band and what we can do together. There are a lot of things I would do differently. It was never my intention to mix edit and produce the album on my own…it was just that monetarily, it was all I could afford. A few of my friends, mostly musicians said I should have had it done professionally…maybe wait it out longer…
I thought of Green Day and the quality of their first album. It wasn’t all that great, but they did just to do it…and I was tired of waiting and had all these morbid fears of dying young. I also liked the idea of the Do it Yourself Punk rock ethos. I don’t have the time I need to really experiment and learn different techniques and try different qualities of sound.
There is really a lot I need to learn…sometimes it’s overwhelming. I think perhaps I should know a little bt about it and hopefully find someone who knows how to extract the best parts of my performance/music and record it.
Patience. I have to be patient and concentrate on practicing with the Shinobies.
